Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Madge's Hard Candy Gym Opens In Mexico City

Madge just so happened to be in Mexico filling her face with FDA-banned fillers and stuffing boy toy huevos into her cheeks for winter, so she slid on over to Mexico City to cut the ribbon on her new Hard Candy gym! Wearing an ensemble directly from Dress Barn's Black Friday sidewalk sale, Madge's eyes filled with gold sparkly dollar signs as she welcomed all the suckers who are paying a one-time fee of $830 (that includes two months) and then $160 a month after that to work out under her roof. Si, $160 a month! All together now: SANTO DIOS!

With $830, do you know how many boxes of chicles I can buy from the local chirruns on the beach in Ensenada? Start my own chicles factory in Mehico or lift weights while Madge's music bashes into my ear hole? Hmmmmm. Anyperraloca, this is what Madge told reporters at the opening of her House of Hard Chocha:

?If any of you have seen my shows, you know that I don?t skimp on them and the same is true for the gym. We spend what it takes to make a globally first-class gym. Our plan is to use Mexico as a place to fine-tune our brand and then expand it to other countries and, in the long term, develop a global brand that includes the United States.?

I can't throw hate at Madge though. She is providing an important service. I'm sure there's hundreds of hos out there who want a pussy so strong that it could circumcise an uncut peen in one swipe. Serious Kabbalah kooch! And here's a few pictures of Madge teaching her customers that very trick.

Keira Knightley Grace Park K. D. Aubert Shania Twain Melissa George

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